Here’s My Super Long Story! Pt. 1

Hopefully y’all got the Alicia Keys plug…my life.

Okay yeah, I know I’ve been M.IA. for a while, but I am back, and I do have some stories. During my 3-day-turned-into-a-10-day-absence, marked with sporadic posting, my mother, my brother and his wife, and myself went down to the City. You know…the one with Madam Liberty.

Anyway, I was officially absent for two days. We didn’t get back ’til early the day after. I’m talking early! I took a bunch of pictures and videos with my iPod, and I’ll post them later from my iPod. But, before telling you all that, I just remembered that I have stories that lead up to Big Bro’s arrival. Also, this may become a two to four-part blog. It is a verrry long story. They will commence in 3…2…1…

So, my mom got this car that sucked. Everyone knew it, and everything sucked. There were a few times that the heater didn’t work…pause…the heater stopped working in the dead of winter! I remember we drove up to Maine (Big Bro’s territory), and no lie, the heater only worked when we were on the freeway. If we slowed down, got off the freeway, or stopped at the tolls, no more heat! It was the craziest thing in the world. So, during one of Albany’s freak snow storms (snow day!) my mom was driving to work and the car slipped on ice. Now, my momma is a little *coughs* strange, but she has some skittles when it comes to driving a car, so the car slipping shouldn’t  have been a problem, except for the fact that the car’s tires suuuuuucked…with a S<<<<DO NOT drive a car that has just “bumped” into the guard rail on the side of the highway. That =s bad…BAD!

A couple of weeks after the accident, my mom was helping a co-worker move out of his place and into a new one. Side note, why do a lot of white people’s homes smell like bologna? I’m not even clowning right now. So, we’re in our zone moving at a good pace. I was put in charge of driving. I currently hold a permit, and I soon plan to rectify that. Back on track, so on our last trip, we made it to dude’s house when the car started making this loud, and I mean LOUD noise like it was ‘fend to blow up. Now as I stated previously, I have a permit. I had no clue as to what was up with the car, I just knew one thing, GET OUT NOW! That is why I love my survival instincts. So I park the car and jump out, accidentally blocking this minivan from getting past us. Quite frankly I couldn’t care less. I was out of the deathtrap car that was making the loud rattling, crunching, I’m-going-to-blow-up noises. All was right with my world.

So, my mom gets the car into the driveway, and the dude we were helping move told her to pop the hood. She did, then he put his bare hand in the hood. I was thinking, “This dude is crazy.”

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